ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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