I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
