How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
