is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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