So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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