you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
