At least make sure they are 18
Why
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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