AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
