Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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