Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Randomize
