Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
