In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
