the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
