have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
