There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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