I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
