listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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