You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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