Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
