You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
