What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
