I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
a search helicopter?!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
