we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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