She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
