I just made out with a guy for $7.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
