Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
