what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
