You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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