Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
