Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You really coming over, don't trick.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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(330): View more from Ohio

He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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(949): View more from California

I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.

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(707): View more from California

He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat

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