So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
