in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
