Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
