a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
