Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
