Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
