I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
