you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You're like the curious george of whores
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
