"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We need to get me chipped asap
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
