he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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