the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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