you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
