im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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