Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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