did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
