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I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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