I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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