playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
