she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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