I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
